and yet .. some time after

it's the seasonal soul checking, and here I am, remembering I have a blog .... so -what's new - I decided las summer that my wish list needs to come to life, thus: I got sailing :))) (sailed to Africa and back, got 400 nautical miles and a RYA Day Skipper certificate under my belt and looking forward to April sailing), got diving certificate (loved the training, loved the experience, loved the challenge and ... loved the guys :), finaly found the courage to do the right thing with B. (wish him the best in the world and declare I am at peace with the fact that breaking-up was the best thing for both of us), worked my ass-off (the G. Intergation project suck life force out of me and gave me nothing in return except self satisfaction - oh, vanity ..), strenghten frindships and discovered new friends (like the beautiful, exciting, warm english people from Gibraltar). Did I grow up? .. don't know .... I am surprised (and somehow disappointed) to see great ideas and mature speach in my old diaries - was I too creative then or am I lagging behind now?? BUT, even if 10 years old, I still believe in HAYAT COK GUZEL ... life is beautifull indeed ...
One things haunts me from one of the previous posts - I still wait for a big life change - it's like this is not "it", this is just preparing for "it" - and it's not about love or profession or prosperity (I've worked all of these to where I wanted to them or at least into the right direction:) - it's just waiting for the feeling that everything clicks in place and I feel fit ....